Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Open up and be happier

In today's society, religious beliefs pretty much dictate our morals, resulting in a repressed society shunning open discussions about sex, which is a natural desire.

Love does not equal sex and sex does not equal love. But unfortunately, many people have trouble differentiating the two.

Not all monogamous relationships are miserable and not all open relationships are happy. But, it's my personal belief that if people open up their minds and relationships, they might find the little something that's missing, enabling them to fulfill their desires without putting their relationships in jeopardy. Of course, in order to pull off open relationship, the foundation of the relationship needs to be solid between a couple. Couples need to have the capability to be open and honest with not only their partner, but with themselves as well. What do they want? How are they going to find what they're looking for? What does the partner want? Are they willing to share?  Can they separate love and sex? Do they even know the difference? What rules will they set with their partner? How will they deal with jealousy? Are they secure enough? Those and many more are questions couples need to ask themselves and their partners.

Jealousy and insecurity have no business in open relationships. If one partner is the jealous type, even a monogamous relationship will run the risk of partners clashing. Jealousy might be OK in the beginning, but it does get old fast. Jealousy gives the other partner that he/she is not trusted. If one partner is unable to trust the other, then what's the point of being in a relationship? Love alone is never enough. That only exists in storybooks and the silver screen.

I know I'm not suited for monogamy and I'm never going down that path ever again. My future partner must be confident and open-minded. He must be secure in the knowledge that he's the one I come home to at the end of the day and it's in him I place my trust. I expect him to place his trust in me as well. We have to be best buddies as well as lovers. I don't expect to know every detail of his past or what he's doing 24/7/365 so I expect my partner to share the same way of thinking. It's my belief that his past experiences made him the man he is today and it's that man I found an attraction in and decided to share my life with. My partner has to be accept the whole package that stands in front of him, orneriness, quirks and all. I'm going to need my space and privacy and I'll respect his.

I hope to find a partner that fits my criteria who is just as happy to be with me as I will be with him.

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